Divorce and Remarriage

A lot of my blog posts have talked about how to make immediate marriages and families successful, but over 60% of families in America live in separated families. Thankfully, these numbers are slowly declining, however LDS divorces, according to my professor, are inclining.
Divorce is hard, I have had to deal with it my whole life.
I found a lot of the facts that we discussed matched my own situation of living in separated households. One of the biggest problems I faced in my other household (with my dad and stepmom) was getting along with her. She was indeed a very nice lady, but I felt uncomfortable knowing she was taking control of me and becoming a new parent. I wasn't used to it and I didn't like it. In fact, a lot of children now days can relate.
The first presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints gave a few points of advice on how to make divorces successful, though:

• It will take at least two years for the new step family to feel "normality"
• The birth-parent should be in charge of all of the heavy discipline
• The mom and dad should have open council with each other
• The step-parent should act as if they are an uncle or aunt to the new child (mostly there for play, not for discipline)

I hope these tips help your families out if you are in that 60% of separated families. I feel for the hardships of new families and I understand they are difficult times but they can be managed.

This will be my last blog post for this class. I appreciate all of the comments and support I have received for my blog. Thank you guys so much! I have enjoyed this class alloy and have learned so much. :)

Please comment in the opinions of mine and others and have a very Merry Christmas!

Abortion

For many this subject is a very hard subject to talk about, concerning the fact that it has to do with a human life. The topic is abortion.
There are two primary types of groups that deal with abortion: Pro-choice and Pro-life.
Pro-choice: believe that abortion is ok. Some say under extreme circumstances (such as rape) abortion would be ok. Others argue that abortion is ok no matter what. If a female doesn't want to get pregnant right now, she doesn't have to.
Pro-life: believe that abortion is wrong. It takes away a human life.

My opinion: I am Pro-life. From my religious perspective abortion hurts a persons spirit. The spirit of a human enters a body as spoon as the fetus is conceived... even before the heart beat. Getting rid of it at any time is wrong.
From my own everyday perspective, however...
Some females don't want a baby because they don't want scarring or they are embarrassed to admit they are sexually active (in the case of sex before marriage). Then DON'T HAVE SEX. Sorry, not sorry, it's as easy as that. Not all birth prevention methods prevent babies. Yes, they do work, but not all of the time. If a woman doesn't want a baby, she shouldn't have sex. Woman: don't make a child pay for your decisions.
As for circumstances such as rape, I still believe a female should keep the child and give it it's best opportunity at life. If adoption is necessary, then send it to an adoptive family under a closed adoption so you don't have to see the child. Don't murder an innocent human.. that's worse than rape. Also, no matter what, the child isn't what is going to make a woman remember being raped, she will remember it because it happened to her. The child doesn't change that state of mind just by simply disposing of it like it is trash.
Giving birth to a child is a divine gift that each woman has, and shouldn't be thrown away so easily. I would be so upset if I ever found out my mom even considered having an abortion with me. My life is such a great life and I deserve to live. I am glad my mom didn't take that right away from me.

Questions:
1. Are you pro-choice or pro-life? Why?
2. What would your reaction be if you found out your parents wanted to have an abortion with you?

Again, this is all in my opinion and please comment respectfully in the opinions of mine and others. Thank you! :)

Father's...

I know that many of you reading this article today do not have a father figure in the home. I also know that many of you do. This article however is for both... because this week was kind of a hard week for me in class. We wrote about the importance of fathers.
My dad was an amazing man; however, he did a lot of things that weren't so amazing. Drinking, smoking, pornography, gambling... you name it, he's probably done it. When I was two my parents divorced but my dad still remained close by. When he was in his serious drinking phases he became mean. He was not the man my mother once married, but aside from that, he was such a great guy.
1. My dad was the best dad in the world
He would take me to the Idaho Falls Snake River and feed the ducks (even though that's illegal now, whoops!) He would take me to the library to check out the Chronicles of Narnia and play on the internet for an hour, and then come back home and read to me. We would sit and play Sims or Grand Theft Auto together for hours. He would sit and watch Sailor Moon with me when I was upset. He would always tell me he loved me every time we hung up on the phone. He was always first to apologize and first to forgive. He believed in God only, but would still make sure we prayed before bed. He would buy me a $20 Bratz doll salon just because I asked for it. He would make sure we always went out and did something fun, even if it was buying a couple of 20 packs of chicken nuggets and eating until we puke or counting them to see if we could ever get the "mysterious extra nugget again."
2. My dad showed love to my mom
Before the divorce, he would bring my mom roses and notes. Even after the divorce, he still left her notes just telling her how great of a mom she was and how much he appreciated her. Even through me, I would get random "IM's" telling me that I should love my mother.
3. He was a friend
No matter what, he was always there for his friends. He always had so many and had such a quirky sense of humor that anyone was attracted to him no matter what.
4. He is my guardian angel
My dad ended up passing away from drowning in that same river he used to take me to. I was only 13 at the time. That was one of the hardest days of my life. Everyday gets harder knowing he won't be there for my graduation, my wedding, the birth of my first child, soccer games, ballet recitals,... he won't be there. But in reality, he will. He is continually watching over me and blessing me. Whenever I am sad or in doubt I can feel his love surrounding me everyday even if he is really not here. He will be at my graduation, wedding, birth of my first child, their soccer games and ballet recitals... maybe not in person,...but in spirit.
5. He taught me to be thankful
My dad was never well off. He lived a very poor life and was living in a shed/house by the time he passed away. But he never complained. Ever. He always made me believe there was more to life that I had to be grateful for: my family and my friends. He showed me what a real father was like, and to be grateful to have one that was so close to me for so long. He showed me the kind of love and compassion I want my future children to have from their father. Many children's fathers up and leave after the birth and don't have good contact with their children.
So, I am speaking to you fathers, mothers and children: This Thanksgiving be so grateful for your fathers. My heart aches for you, the families with no father in the home, and I am so happy for the ones who do have fathers in the home. But, whatever situation you are in, whether your father is always there, whether he has left your family, whether he is deceased... he brought you into this world. Try to at least reach out and tell him you love him and are thankful for him. It might not mean a lot right now but it will later. You don't realize what you have until it's gone, and even then, I still don't realize everything my dad has given me and sacrificed for me. Your father's are good men... ALL OF THEM. Give them a chance and just show them love. Unrestrictive, friendly love. They will repay you back with even more love. Before you know it (the children who don't have good relationships with their dad's) you may be able to rekindle those relationships that were once broken. Don't give up hope. I was able to do this with my father. Your father still loves you and thinks about you everyday, no matter what you may believe. You can win him back... you just have to try.

Questions:
There will be no questions today. This was a very difficult article to write, all completely my opinion, so it is all up to your own thoughts in the comment box.

Thank you so much for reading... I know it was long, but I hope it was worth it. Please comment with respect in the opinions of mine and others.


Have a Happy Thanksgiving and be grateful for your dads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Communication

This week we are discussing communication and why it is so vital in a successful family structure. Studies show that interactions between two or more people involve three different percentages of communication:

1. Verbal: 14%
2. Tone: 35%
3. Non-Verbal or Physical: 51%

Which brings us to a whopping 100% communication. As we see in these statistics, non-verbal communication is huge. This is why if a person were to say "yes" to a date, but have their head down and look upset, you know the "yes" is probably untrue.
Same goes with texting. Texting can be great for a quick memo, but can be terrible to build a relationship with. Texting is only verbal, which leaves 86% of the conversation left up to you, the reader. This is why miscommunication can be huge when texting.
When communicating we need to be able to exchange feed back from all persons involved in the conversation.
Another dealing with communication is conflict. Conflict normally has a negative connotation but can be great when handled correctly. If there is a conflict two people can find a happy medium that was probably better than the resolution of either side and it puts all feelings and issues out into the open, if the group of people are willing to sit down and handle the situation in a calm manner.

My opinion:
I completely agree with the different percentages in communication lines. They are necessary to understand when dealing with a conversation. Also, we have discussed in class that woman pick up on non-verbal cues a lot easier than men. This will be especially critical when talking with a man that I make myself as clear as possible with non-verbal actions and that I try not to over exaggerate or misread the man's body language.

Question:
1. How often do you notice these types of communication when talking to someone or a group of people?
2. Is there something you hope to change in your upcoming conversations to help avoid misreading or misinterpreting a conversation?

Please read and comment but comment with respect to mine and others opinions! Thanks!

Family Stressors

This week we learned about family stressors. Family stressors are important to understand because they happen to everyone and they happen for any period of time. They are inevitable but some are good and some are bad. Now some of you are going, "What? Stress is good?" In a way, some situations that might provide stress are good-- such as a planned marriage or a planned baby. Stressors that are bad are what we normally associate with stress, such as emotion problems, death, or addictions. These are hard things to come about but everyone deals with them differently. Coping is the definition of dealing with something, but not necessarily overcoming it. We relate coping to a "coping saw". Coping saws are used with thin blades to make precise details and fit a piece of something (such as wood) exactly into whatever it needs to be fit in. That is what we do when we emotionally cope, is we rearrange our circumstances, feelings, and states of mind to best fit into whatever is providing a stressor on the family.

My opinion: I love having the gospel in my life for this very reason. My friends and I in class actually discussed this, and having the church as a support system. The LDS community is a very service oriented one, and whenever any small or big stressor is there, you are never left abandoned. The Relief Society and Priesthood automatically step up to the plate and help you when you are feeling down.
Also, I love that I can turn to God when in times of doubt. He is always there and I can just pray my heart out about my sorrows, desires, and gratitude. Even people who aren't LDS believe in this. God is there and he is all knowing. He provides me and others faith in times of weakness and stress and I love that.

"When life gets too hard to stand, kneel."
~Anonymous~

Questions:
1. In what ways has stress formed in your life and how have you dealt with it?

Thank you so much to everyone who is reading and commenting! And please, do comment! I really enjoy reading your guys' feedback. Just comment respectfully in the opinions of mine and others. All comments are being monitored and will be deleted if they are not respectful. Thanks!

Being Loyal to Your Spouse

This post may feel repetitive, because this week is a lot like my post last week.
My opinion: Some of these factors I found very interesting and some felt like, "Well, duh. Of course we are supposed to do that." But these are some things to avoid, so that you may remain loyal to your spouse, that we listed in class:

1. Putting other things before them such as money, video games or any other worldly things (also, not putting your children before your spouse-- I named this last time but it is so incredibly true. If the children see that love between you two they will be less likely to act out and will do better in things such as getting along with friends and school. When they come first, it will make the husband feel lesser of a person and will result in a broken home, thus, a broken family)
2. Sexting
3. Keeping money spending a secret (a good way to avoid this, is put all money costs together once a week and decide what you will be spending it on-- putting most important things first such as bills, grocery budget and savings and last as fun money)
4. Making sure that when you hang out or have a work dinner or something with friends there are multiple friends with you (we stressed this extremely, because even doing something as simple as making sure your spouse is not alone with someone of the opposite gender [or same!!] but instead is with you and multiple friends, this can decrease the chance for arousal significantly)
5. Being with a close friend or family member alone also allows an increased chance for you or your significant other to "bash" or talk down on your spouse (you may say "I would never do that" but if they have been making you stressed that day, it could be very easy to want to "bash" them while they are not around)
6. Impure thoughts of someone other than your spouse
7. Dishonesty
8. Confiding in anyone other than your spouse (much like #5)
9. Pornography
10. Alcohol
11. Drugs
12. Massage parlors (this may sound weird, but going on your own to these can cause the chance for arousal)
13. Don't even get close to the line of cheating. Do everything to avoid this line. Every act of intimacy with someone other than your spouse (little or big!!) just makes it easier and easier to lead to the next act
14. For females especially, avoid chick flicks and romance novels!!! (This is very hard for me to point out, considering I love chick flicks and romance novels, but that is the very problem. Females attach emotionally and one of the biggest sources of not being loyal to your spouse is to be aroused by fantasy's. Falling in love with characters who are unrealistic and then expecting your spouse to be the same. You may not realize it, but this happens more often than you think. No one is perfect and these sort of objects have no place in the home if the wife starts "expecting" the husband to become like these fictional characters. In a very blunt way: chick flicks and romance novels are what we in class call "woman porn".)
15. Violence (which comes the root of "violation" or to "violate ones space")
16. IF there has been cheating or infidelity in the relationship, when trying to fix it, do not give details of how the other lover showed affection. It will just bring the relationship down-- instead focus on ways of how you can both prove your love and show you are now loyal to each other forever and always)

Marriage is important and marriage is worth it. Don't trap yourself into cheating. By trapping yourself, it will start out with small things, but will eventually grow bigger. Draw a clear line of how far you will go with someone other than your spouse and don't even go near that line. It will create happiness and bonds between your spouse that some people would never have even imagined possible.

Questions:
1. How much physical intimacy (hand holding, kissing, ect.) do you feel is important in marriage?
2. Do you believe that showing these signs of affection are important to do in front of your children? Why or why not?
3. What other ways do you believe help you to remain loyal to your spouse?

I appreciate all feedback but please comment in the respect of mine and others opinions. All comments are being monitored and any that do not remain respectful will be deleted.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! You guys are wonderful!

Satisfaction in Marriage

 I would just like to begin by apologizing for how long this post is. But it is very informative and if you are married or plan on getting married, I would highly recommend reading it. Thank you! :)

My opinion: This week we learned about marital satisfaction and what contributes to marital satisfaction. We learned that sadly, as time goes on, marriage generally decreases in satisfaction. This may contribute to each individual not realizing the others habits and traditions completely. Something so small as one person leaving the bathroom clean and the other spouse not leaving it clean, can contribute to less satisfaction, because in reality, your partner isn't exactly like you.

"Well then, we will just cohabitate." Study after study has proven that cohabitation leads to a higher risk of divorce, and it actually does not, in reality, help prepare you for marriage. I understand and know people close to me whom have cohabited and this is in no way meant to offend them, it is strictly fact.

Also, as time continues on, each child born causes an increase in marital dissatisfaction. This is not because the child is the problem, per say, but that the child requires extra attention-- which may lead the father to start feeling less satisfied because he is lacking attention from the wife because the wife may be giving more attention to the baby.

How do we avoid this? Well, for class I came up with a list of five things we can do before, during, and after the birth of the first child that can generally increase marital satisfaction and make each child help the satisfaction levels either stay or grow, not decline.

1. Before the birth a woman can have the husband take part in the little parts of the child growing. Such as when the baby kicks, allow the husband to feel the tummy. In fact, encourage it. Also, make sure he is at every doctor’s appointment as possible. Make the ultrasound visits priority. This is still the parents (mom and dad) child. This child is important and needs attention even before it’s born.
2. During the delivery, make sure the husband is there through everything. He is at the wife’s side while she is giving birth. That he is there for her every need. If she needs water, a nurse, anything. The husband is fully involved. Don’t find it annoying having him constantly by your side during this process; in the end it will be more helpful than ever.
3. One thing I find super important is when the baby is first born is the face the baby looks at. Doctor’s don’t look straight at the baby because the baby naturally grows an attachment to the first face it sees when it is born. That is why babies naturally stop crying easier around their own mom, than someone else’s. The thing I stress with this is, though, that both parents be in the baby’s eyesight. Don’t allow the baby to only see the mom, or only see the dad, make sure the baby see’s two equals.
4. After the delivery make sure the father knows he is appreciated for everything he does. Many moms forget how stressful a long day at work can be. They forget that even sitting around all day can still be very tasking if there are a bunch of calls or a lot of people demanding your attention at work. The father does a lot for the family and has just as long of a day as a mother, and the mother needs to remember that. Even so much as showing how excited she is that he is home and giving him a kiss every day. Also, when the father comes home, don’t forget that the mother has been working all day too. Both parents should divide up the responsibilities equally when the father comes home. Both of you are tired, so this helps divide the stress and maybe even minimize it a little.
5. The last thing that is important is to remember to always keep the father first in the mother’s life. Yes, the child is very important and needs attention, but this can cause, in a way, envy or loneliness from the father. Both the mother and father should never go to bed angry, apologizing before hand, and they should always pray together, let each other know if they are stressed from the minute the stress is starting to appear. They should call each other every day, not text or email unless they were with each other all day. These calls allow the other spouse to hear the others voice and to be reassured that they are more important than what they are doing at the moment. A text means, “I’m busy, but I’ll try to get this out of the way.” A call shows you are willing to talk and listen to your spouse’s. Lastly, a date night once a week never hurt anyone. It allows bonding free from stresses of work, children, and other things. Plus, it may allow a family member to bond with the child a little more (such as a grandmother). Why do I stress togetherness so much? Because the child can sense when there is a lack of a relationship. Once the child starts coming before the marriage, it causes a split and makes the father feel less attention from the mother. This can lead to events such as a split or divorce. And in reality, a divorce is never good for a child. A child needs both parents to function and to get equal perspectives. A high marriage causes a high family life. The child can sense when the parents get along, which in essence creates a stronger bond with the child. The child feels safe and like the home is a place where there is peace, security and love.

 

Please be aware; however, that there was only slight declines in marital satisfaction after the marriage and birth of each child.

Questions:
1. In what ways do or will you increase your own marital satisfaction?
2. Do or have you ever cohabited? Please explain the benefits and losses from your own cohabitation experience(s)?
3. I know this is off the beaten path a little, but I am curious, will you or have you discussed ways--with your (future) partner-- in which you will:
A. Handle finances
B. Discipline your children
C. Do traditions/holidays
D. Job distribution (inside AND outside the home)
E. How much involvement your extended family will have in you and your spouse's lives?
If not too personal, please explain some of the things that helped you decide these factors.

I apologize that these questions may feel a little bit pointed towards a certain group, I-- in no way-- intended this, and would appreciate everyone's opinion, no matter what relationship status you may hold.

As always, please comment with respect in the matter of mine and others opinions. Comments are being monitored and anything that falls short of this will be deleted.
Thank you so much!

***********Reader's Note***************
Also, I'd just like to say thank you so much for all the incredible support on my blog. It has opened my eyes and helped me learn so much about different lifestyles and structures. I appreciate everything and everyone who has helped make this such a wonderful blog to come and read your comments from! Love you guys!

Dating and Love

This week we are learning about dating and how people generally fall in love. At first, I wanted to wait until the end of the week to write this blog post, but I feel like I will gain more from this post if I get responses while I have as little knowledge on the topic as possible. So, for the sake of this post, I would love to hear some responses.
My opinion:
Mainly what we focused on was what attracts a male to a female-- what makes them want to date each other. We discussed and discovered that similarities attract more than opposition. "Opposites attract" is a very biased theory and is completely untrue.
For the most part, couples should agree on certain topics such as religion or finance. The more disagreement that comes, the more fighting there is. Yes, as I stated in my last post, we as males and females should be able to express our unique characteristics, but I am pretty sure a pro football player and a couch potato would not get along. The football player would want to running or hiking, while the couch potato would want to go out for desert every night. This is just one example, there are many more cases like this.
We also learned that as psychologists gave couples counseling they would tell their clients to use "I" statements or to "fight fair." But over time, this really was just teaching the clients to manipulate each other and by doing so, more divorce rates came from couples who took this method of couples counseling rather than ones who didn't take either. So my professor did something so simple, but so genius I couldn't help but wonder why couples can't just do this on their own? He developed the method of just asking how the couples met. Who hit on who. What did they do on the first date? By doing this he not only got the couples to reminisce on good memories, but to remember why they fell in love in the first place.

Questions:
1. What attracts you to the person you want to date or marry? What makes you get those butterflies all over again? (And please don't just say "everything my husband does" or along those lines; I want to know specifics.)
2. What do you think is best for making a successful marriage? Talking it out? Religion? Agreement?
3.Although it was not mentioned much in this article, what do you think love is in a brief definition?

Any other comments are welcome. Please agree or disagree respectfully of mine and others opinions. Anything that falls short of this will be deleted. And again, this is one post I would really like some response to, mainly because it is specifically targeted toward my career. Thank you! :)

Gender Differences... Good or Bad?

This week we are talking about gender differences and why gender equality is being so much in today's economy.
My opinion: I believe that everyone is born uniquely. That males and females have individual roles. Males are more likely to be masculine and tough in their upbringing. When choosing for toys they tend to go towards the guns and cars.
Girls on the other hand are feminine and nurturing. As children, also choosing for toys, they go towards dress up and dolls.
What about when giving the children the same toys?
The girls will turn cars into babies, and the boys will turn Barbie's into weapons.
This is based off of scientific observation. A research study showed that males have an extra dose of testosterone in their systems before they were even born. When the study was places on monkey's, they injected an extra dose of testosterone into a female monkey and she became naturally more aggressive. The rest of the females were calm and easy going.
I think it is ok to give everyone equal rights, but is it what we are meant to do as males and females? Everyone has their gender specific roles and they need to embrace them rather than trying to avoid them.
I think males and females would be able to get along better as a married couple or whole if they realized their divine nature on this earth. Their roles can balance each other out. Males are stronger, while the female is weaker. Females are more nurturing while males can sometimes not pick up on subtle messages.
All in all, males and females should be able to express these unique differences, without being attacked for showing discrimination.

Question:
1. Do you believe men and women should be treated equally or should they be able to show their divine purposes on this earth?

Any other feedback is welcome. Please comment respectfully of my opinions and of others. Any abusive comments will be deleted.

For further reference read this article: http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Stossel/story?id=2503292&page=1

Thanks!

Right and Wrong

In our class our teacher posed the question of what is right and what is wrong. He asked if we believe that everyone has a firm 'right' and 'wrong' sense of judgment and that everyone agrees on what is good and bad, so my answer/opinion to it was, without too much change:
"I believe there is a right and a wrong, a good and a bad, but no two single people agree on the exact same things of what is right and what is wrong.
A person is not born automatically knowing if their decisions are good or bad, they must be taught those things. So what is right and what is wrong? If one family believes, for instance, that guns should be allowed in homes, they will teach their children that and the children will believe that guns are a good thing and they are right. But another family could be strongly opposed to guns and believe they are a bad thing and teach their child that that is wrong to have a gun in the home for protective purposes.
So which family is right? There is no exact limit for what is right and wrong.
Or another example is that we are taught that with our Christian beliefs, certain things are more morally wrong than others, like wine. On the other hand, there are many religions’ and cultures that believe that wine is good, that it shows their love for Jesus, and is a good medical instrument.
We are taught by our beliefs what is right and wrong, so I am going to have to disagree that there is a confirmed right and wrong with the world and everyone knows what is right and wrong. Our culture has been so impacted on getting things to change and letting individuals express freedom, that even if there was once a compliance before, there isn’t now. There will always be something to disagree on.
I just use my best judgment and do what I believe is the right thing, because in my opinion it is what pleases God, not the world.
2 Nephi 5:32 'And I engraved that which is pleasing unto God. And if my people are pleased with the things of God they will be pleased with mine engravings which are upon these plates.'"

My questions to you:
What do you believe is right and wrong?
Do you believe that everyone has the same terms and agreement for what is right and wrong?

As always please comment respectfully towards mine and others' opinions. It's ok to agree or disagree as long as you are respectful about it. All harassing comments will be deleted. Thanks!

Homesickness

In class this week, we are learning about the different types of styles theorists see in the family. Of course, there is a wide genre, but there are 4 types of theory's that are used the majority of the time when trying to discover the family. They are:
-Exchange Theory
-Systems Theory
-Symbolic Theory
-Conflict Theory
These theories can act on their own, or they can interact with each other.
There was one theory I wanted to focus on specifically, though. Which is the Systems Theory. This theory suggests that the whole family is greater than the sum of all parts. "What does this have to do with homesickness?" You may ask. Well, let me further explain.
I have been up on campus for a little over two weeks now, and I have seen the majority of the students that I interact with on campus here, or at other universities claim that they are "homesick." Which made me then ask them, "What do you miss about home?" More likely than not, the first thing they state is, "My family." Which brings confusion, because your family is not home... it is your family. So is it really homesickness?
My mother works almost all the time and when I started working to at 16, I almost never saw her. She was the only person I lived with, too. My mom is a hard worker and a true mother, don't get me wrong... but why wasn't I feeling homesick?
I believe homesickness is not triggered from missing the actual physical home, but the elements surrounding it. It's a deeper issue that lies within. With my mom and I being apart for so long, it's been hard for me to draw a deep connection into missing her as much as other students are missing their parents. Just like in the systems theory. One person needs their whole family to work and to feel that "missing family feeling" rather than one person trying to work around never seeing their family.
I drew close to my brother and my dad in my younger years, so as they started to leave and disappear over time I have developed that missing feeling for them, but not home.
When I miss elements around my home, I state them as they are instead of saying I am homesick. "I miss my friends" is one of the more known statements I use. They were and still are like my family, and helped me develop a lot of my roots. Which allows me to feel a missing feeling again for them, but not for my actual physical home. (Furniture, old clothes, even the carpet coloring, ect.)


My questions for you:
Is it really homesickness or should we start referring to it as something else?
What are your feelings on homesickness?
If you have any other questions or comments feel free to comment below. Please remember, as always, that I am monitoring the comments and any comments that are disrespectful of mine or others' opinions will be deleted. Thanks!

Trends or Trendy?

I decided to make a new post today and I would first off like to make my regards to my last post about gay marriage: I am absolutely thrilled with the outcome of responses that came with the post. A lot of you made very reasonable arguments about why or why not you think gay marriage should be legalized. Unfortunately, there was a couple of comments I did have to remove from this post. Please remember: I welcome opinions, but not if they are rude or disrespectful to mine or others thoughts. Save that for Facebook drama, please.

Today in class we learned about common trends in society. The ones we hit on most were:
-Divorce growth
-Marriage age growth
-Employed moms growth
-Both parents working growth
-Living alone growth
-Birth rates declining
-Household members declining (which bounces off of the living alone factor)
-Pre-marital sex growth

And then we took a poll in class on each issue whether it was Significant, Interesting, or Incidental (no big deal). Surprisingly, a lot of people in class voted the same for the majority of the trends.

My opinion: I can't help but wonder if one of these trends is based off of another. For example, in my high school I saw about four different people, all in the same situation. (Of course, there were factors that made these situations semi different, because everyone lives different lives, but for the sake of trends, they followed the same pattern):

1. They would have pre-marital sex
2. The girls ended up being pregnant at a young age. (This we did not discuss in class but I am seeing teenage pregnancy becoming a trend)
3. They would get married in hopes of something the father could provide. (Whether it was love for them, their family, income, ect.)
4. Then the father would cheat, not be supportive of the family, or some other factor, and they would get divorced.

I can't help but wonder why this happened four times while I was in high school? Yes, I know this does not represent every high school ever, but it makes me wonder if there are other high schools that have this same factor at an even higher rate?
I think it may be a lack of maturity. We are still babies ourselves, developing and becoming adults, so it is hard to become a mom while yours is still raising you. Then the father already had the mind set that he can do what he wanted. He isn't connected to that baby so he could leave at will. Even if it was through divorce papers. I do not, nor will I ever hate teenage moms. Again, I don't support the lifestyle (but that is for another time, another post.) I have a best friend who is a teen mom and she is one of the most amazing people I know. She works very hard and shows a lot of love for her daughter and I am so proud of her for getting her life back on track. But it hasn't been easy.

-Would it have been easy if these moms were older when they got pregnant? Maybe. But they could still be in school (college) getting an education and still struggling financially and with time.

-What if they waited until after they were married to have children? Would that have made the father stay around longer? Maybe. By getting married you already put yourself in a more hardcore agreement to be committed to that member of the family, but divorce has been a lot easier to get since a law was passed in the 1980's that allowed citizens to get divorced without a reason. So it's almost like marriage contradicts itself. In a way that this could almost lead to why there are so many people having children and living with a significant other without getting married. Now it is only a piece of paper. Some people find it holds their entire life in that paper, some people find it more of a short term agreement.
I believe I should wait until after marriage to have children. Because I want at least some commitment out of the person I am marrying. The LDS church believes that you will be sealed to the person you marry for time and eternity. Therefore, making it harder to get divorced because you have to be unsealed from that spouse too. Marriage is binding for my church... but a good binding, but that is why I am waiting. Strictly on religious beliefs.
Also, I don't want to have sex with several people to avoid the risk of getting STD's or having a child before I am ready and having that risk of having to do it on my own. Which is why I respect single parents so much. They go through a lot and are still raising children.

So here are my questions to you, my fellow readers:
Based on these societal trends, which one do you think is impacting our economy the most? Or is there another trend that you find a lot more detrimental to society?
Based on the trends I have given do you find them significant, interesting, or incidental (no big deal)?
Do you think certain trends are based off of each other and lead to one another just as I mentioned in the example above?
Why do you think these trends are expanding or declining so rapidly?
Do you think the trends expand rapidly because they are trends? Because everyone is doing them or because that is what they want to do and that is their personality?

Again, thank you so much for reading and your opinions from the last blog. Please be respectful of my opinions and others when you comment on this one or else I will be deleting your comments. All comments are welcome as long as you agree or disagree respectfully. Thank you!

"Coming Out"

Today in class we started to talk about one of the touchiest subjects in America, maybe even the world right now. Gay marriage. Before I start to go off on what I learned, I would just like to make a quick notice that this is a very hard subject to talk about. All opinions are my own and I would hope you would respect that. Feel free to comment below, but if you do please be respectful of mine and others opinions and be mature about what you say. Thank you.
So, we talked about a survey the APA did when they were trying to pass gay marriage in the state of California. Propositions 22 and 8 were trying to keep marriage civilly between a man and a woman.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has expressed clearly in The Family: A Proclamtion that marriage should only be between a man and a woman and they are to multiply and replenish the Earth so that we may continue this stream of children for generations to come.
I strongly agree with this. I am not afraid to say that I am opposed to gay marriage. I know people who have "came out" and are building relationships with people of the same gender. Now, don't get me wrong, I still love them the same way. They are still my friends and that will never change, but I don't agree with gay marriage or even gay relationships. I don't support it and I would never choose that lifestyle for myself. Like I said, that doesn't mean I hate gays... that's like saying I hate someone because they are deaf, their leg is broken, or they have the highest grade in my class. Gays are still people and it's just one of their traits and I would never look at them any differently than I did before they "came out."
Why am I so opposed to gay marriage/relationships? I know people have strong tendencies and desires for the same gender because they feel more compatible or that "the other gender would never like me so I need someone else" or who knows what other reasons. Men and woman are bred to create children and to build a strong home where a male has qualities and a woman and they work together to become as one whole family unit. "Coming out" is starting to become a trend and feels more like something people do to just be cool and not because of a struggle they are having. If society starts to see that it is a trend, more and more people are going to start to think that "coming out" is what everyone needs to do. That everyone secretly has passion for someone of the same gender which is no way true, but society is going to try to aim it that way. And then what? What happens several decades down the road when every single person is in a relationship with someone of the same gender? How will kids be developed? Yeah, they can "just adopt", but breeding has to be done to or else our society will diminish.
Yes, I know that might seem like a super crazy resolution to draw to, but is it really that crazy? Think about when people started "coming out" years ago... it was such a small thing, and now it's all over. Media, elementary schools, even in a walk in the park you may see a homosexual relationship.
What do you think? Where do you draw the line on homosexual standards in society? Is it ok that it is being taught in schools to children as young as 5 years old, on Disney Channel, and in the government system?
Here are a couple other articles to read and you can make up your minds for yourselves:
http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html
http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation
http://www.mormonsandgays.org/

Hello!

My name is Raini Stock and I am starting a blog for one of my college classes. The class is called Family Relations and is supposed to help me build a stronger understanding of the ups and downs through the regular (or not so regular) family lifestyle. As I learn my tips and tricks through this course, I will be sharing some of my own thoughts and helpful knowlegable insights I have gained from this class. I hope that you, my readers, may find this blog both entertaining and informative.

Comments are being monitored, but I do appreciate all feedback. I would like to know what you like, dislike, want improved, ect. on this blog, so I can improve my understanding of other family backgrounds and make this blog something great for a community to read.
Thank you and have a wonderful day!
Raini