This week we are learning about dating and how people generally fall in love. At first, I wanted to wait until the end of the week to write this blog post, but I feel like I will gain more from this post if I get responses while I have as little knowledge on the topic as possible. So, for the sake of this post, I would love to hear some responses.
My opinion:
Mainly what we focused on was what attracts a male to a female-- what makes them want to date each other. We discussed and discovered that similarities attract more than opposition. "Opposites attract" is a very biased theory and is completely untrue.
For the most part, couples should agree on certain topics such as religion or finance. The more disagreement that comes, the more fighting there is. Yes, as I stated in my last post, we as males and females should be able to express our unique characteristics, but I am pretty sure a pro football player and a couch potato would not get along. The football player would want to running or hiking, while the couch potato would want to go out for desert every night. This is just one example, there are many more cases like this.
We also learned that as psychologists gave couples counseling they would tell their clients to use "I" statements or to "fight fair." But over time, this really was just teaching the clients to manipulate each other and by doing so, more divorce rates came from couples who took this method of couples counseling rather than ones who didn't take either. So my professor did something so simple, but so genius I couldn't help but wonder why couples can't just do this on their own? He developed the method of just asking how the couples met. Who hit on who. What did they do on the first date? By doing this he not only got the couples to reminisce on good memories, but to remember why they fell in love in the first place.
Questions:
1. What attracts you to the person you want to date or marry? What makes you get those butterflies all over again? (And please don't just say "everything my husband does" or along those lines; I want to know specifics.)
2. What do you think is best for making a successful marriage? Talking it out? Religion? Agreement?
3.Although it was not mentioned much in this article, what do you think love is in a brief definition?
Any other comments are welcome. Please agree or disagree respectfully of mine and others opinions. Anything that falls short of this will be deleted. And again, this is one post I would really like some response to, mainly because it is specifically targeted toward my career. Thank you! :)
1. What attracts me is personality. Specifically looking at myself and what I like and seeing if the other person has the same interests, sense of humor, likes and dislikes. You do have to have similar likes in order to get along. As for the butterflies, it is mostly in touch and feeling, that is what gives me butterflies.
ReplyDelete2. Saying I'm sorry...often, not wanting/needing to always be right, humility. You don't have to agree on everthing, but being willing to compromise is key.
3. Love is never being able to imagine your life without that person. Being willing to fall on your own sword for that other person. Wanting your partner to always be happy and doing anything to make that person happy.
Dating is for the most part not very fun !! but it is necessary in the process of "elimination" There has to be those few questionable dates that make you wonder why their mother did not eat them at birth ! But they have to be there for you to know what you DON'T want. I think you have to have a few things in common when you are getting to know each other and talking marriage, Not necessarily everything in common though, you have to remain the person you are and each on you have your own likes and dislikes and then you work and accept those differences. You cannot be a robot and do all and like all they things they do. It is still important to have common likes and beliefs and goals. Having a marriage that is based on your common religious beliefs is VERY important and to know that they live it and it is important to them makes for a much better foundation for a marriage. Love is not all the butterflies and twiiterpation, that can be there and is fun, but it is more acceptance, forgiveness, tolerance of differences and keeping the bigger picture in mind as you go about daily life. Being ready to serve each other is important and not a lop sided one person all the time service, but a mutual service for each other. I think if you have a marriage the is the "everything my husband or wife does is wonderful" marriage then you are getting into the puppet type of marriage that I think you feel that you can't be yourself in. there are times you have to be mad and frustrated with your spouse, it is just normal human nature and makes you closer when you have to work out differences and forgive.
ReplyDeleteI think that love could be defined as wanting the best for another person, or in other words, finally caring more about someone else than you do yourself. As in many cases (not just love and marriage), you must meet in the middle. Marriage is not a one-way street. I've seen both sides of this in my life, and in either case, when both partners are supportive of the other, it works.
ReplyDeleteI think what is attractive about a person is their outlook on life and their personal goals. It really doesn't matter to me if we have multiple differences. As long as we have the same basic views and goals in life, whether I love football as much as he does shouldn't matter. Thank you for the thought-provoking post!
I feel that talking it out is what is best in a marriage. This way your feelings are shared and your spouse can understand how you feel. Talking things out can be helpful in making decisions together. One key thing that attracts me to the person that I am to marry or date is how close they are to the Lord and how it shows in their countenance.
ReplyDeleteHey its your TA Emily again! Great post, thanks for taking initiative and giving some personal opinions. I too love that Brother Williams focuses so much on the initial attraction and compatibility of couples. Why do you feel this approach can be helpful? Why do you think that the common thinking of "opposites attract" is still so accepted in today's society?
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