In class this week, we are learning about the different types of styles theorists see in the family. Of course, there is a wide genre, but there are 4 types of theory's that are used the majority of the time when trying to discover the family. They are:
-Exchange Theory
-Systems Theory
-Symbolic Theory
-Conflict Theory
These theories can act on their own, or they can interact with each other.
There was one theory I wanted to focus on specifically, though. Which is the Systems Theory. This theory suggests that the whole family is greater than the sum of all parts. "What does this have to do with homesickness?" You may ask. Well, let me further explain.
I have been up on campus for a little over two weeks now, and I have seen the majority of the students that I interact with on campus here, or at other universities claim that they are "homesick." Which made me then ask them, "What do you miss about home?" More likely than not, the first thing they state is, "My family." Which brings confusion, because your family is not home... it is your family. So is it really homesickness?
My mother works almost all the time and when I started working to at 16, I almost never saw her. She was the only person I lived with, too. My mom is a hard worker and a true mother, don't get me wrong... but why wasn't I feeling homesick?
I believe homesickness is not triggered from missing the actual physical home, but the elements surrounding it. It's a deeper issue that lies within. With my mom and I being apart for so long, it's been hard for me to draw a deep connection into missing her as much as other students are missing their parents. Just like in the systems theory. One person needs their whole family to work and to feel that "missing family feeling" rather than one person trying to work around never seeing their family.
I drew close to my brother and my dad in my younger years, so as they started to leave and disappear over time I have developed that missing feeling for them, but not home.
When I miss elements around my home, I state them as they are instead of saying I am homesick. "I miss my friends" is one of the more known statements I use. They were and still are like my family, and helped me develop a lot of my roots. Which allows me to feel a missing feeling again for them, but not for my actual physical home. (Furniture, old clothes, even the carpet coloring, ect.)
My questions for you:
Is it really homesickness or should we start referring to it as something else?
What are your feelings on homesickness?
If you have any other questions or comments feel free to comment below. Please remember, as always, that I am monitoring the comments and any comments that are disrespectful of mine or others' opinions will be deleted. Thanks!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Trends or Trendy?
I decided to make a new post today and I would first off like to make my regards to my last post about gay marriage: I am absolutely thrilled with the outcome of responses that came with the post. A lot of you made very reasonable arguments about why or why not you think gay marriage should be legalized. Unfortunately, there was a couple of comments I did have to remove from this post. Please remember: I welcome opinions, but not if they are rude or disrespectful to mine or others thoughts. Save that for Facebook drama, please.
Today in class we learned about common trends in society. The ones we hit on most were:
-Divorce growth
-Marriage age growth
-Employed moms growth
-Both parents working growth
-Living alone growth
-Birth rates declining
-Household members declining (which bounces off of the living alone factor)
-Pre-marital sex growth
And then we took a poll in class on each issue whether it was Significant, Interesting, or Incidental (no big deal). Surprisingly, a lot of people in class voted the same for the majority of the trends.
My opinion: I can't help but wonder if one of these trends is based off of another. For example, in my high school I saw about four different people, all in the same situation. (Of course, there were factors that made these situations semi different, because everyone lives different lives, but for the sake of trends, they followed the same pattern):
1. They would have pre-marital sex
2. The girls ended up being pregnant at a young age. (This we did not discuss in class but I am seeing teenage pregnancy becoming a trend)
3. They would get married in hopes of something the father could provide. (Whether it was love for them, their family, income, ect.)
4. Then the father would cheat, not be supportive of the family, or some other factor, and they would get divorced.
I can't help but wonder why this happened four times while I was in high school? Yes, I know this does not represent every high school ever, but it makes me wonder if there are other high schools that have this same factor at an even higher rate?
I think it may be a lack of maturity. We are still babies ourselves, developing and becoming adults, so it is hard to become a mom while yours is still raising you. Then the father already had the mind set that he can do what he wanted. He isn't connected to that baby so he could leave at will. Even if it was through divorce papers. I do not, nor will I ever hate teenage moms. Again, I don't support the lifestyle (but that is for another time, another post.) I have a best friend who is a teen mom and she is one of the most amazing people I know. She works very hard and shows a lot of love for her daughter and I am so proud of her for getting her life back on track. But it hasn't been easy.
-Would it have been easy if these moms were older when they got pregnant? Maybe. But they could still be in school (college) getting an education and still struggling financially and with time.
-What if they waited until after they were married to have children? Would that have made the father stay around longer? Maybe. By getting married you already put yourself in a more hardcore agreement to be committed to that member of the family, but divorce has been a lot easier to get since a law was passed in the 1980's that allowed citizens to get divorced without a reason. So it's almost like marriage contradicts itself. In a way that this could almost lead to why there are so many people having children and living with a significant other without getting married. Now it is only a piece of paper. Some people find it holds their entire life in that paper, some people find it more of a short term agreement.
I believe I should wait until after marriage to have children. Because I want at least some commitment out of the person I am marrying. The LDS church believes that you will be sealed to the person you marry for time and eternity. Therefore, making it harder to get divorced because you have to be unsealed from that spouse too. Marriage is binding for my church... but a good binding, but that is why I am waiting. Strictly on religious beliefs.
Also, I don't want to have sex with several people to avoid the risk of getting STD's or having a child before I am ready and having that risk of having to do it on my own. Which is why I respect single parents so much. They go through a lot and are still raising children.
So here are my questions to you, my fellow readers:
Based on these societal trends, which one do you think is impacting our economy the most? Or is there another trend that you find a lot more detrimental to society?
Based on the trends I have given do you find them significant, interesting, or incidental (no big deal)?
Do you think certain trends are based off of each other and lead to one another just as I mentioned in the example above?
Why do you think these trends are expanding or declining so rapidly?
Do you think the trends expand rapidly because they are trends? Because everyone is doing them or because that is what they want to do and that is their personality?
Again, thank you so much for reading and your opinions from the last blog. Please be respectful of my opinions and others when you comment on this one or else I will be deleting your comments. All comments are welcome as long as you agree or disagree respectfully. Thank you!
Today in class we learned about common trends in society. The ones we hit on most were:
-Divorce growth
-Marriage age growth
-Employed moms growth
-Both parents working growth
-Living alone growth
-Birth rates declining
-Household members declining (which bounces off of the living alone factor)
-Pre-marital sex growth
And then we took a poll in class on each issue whether it was Significant, Interesting, or Incidental (no big deal). Surprisingly, a lot of people in class voted the same for the majority of the trends.
My opinion: I can't help but wonder if one of these trends is based off of another. For example, in my high school I saw about four different people, all in the same situation. (Of course, there were factors that made these situations semi different, because everyone lives different lives, but for the sake of trends, they followed the same pattern):
1. They would have pre-marital sex
2. The girls ended up being pregnant at a young age. (This we did not discuss in class but I am seeing teenage pregnancy becoming a trend)
3. They would get married in hopes of something the father could provide. (Whether it was love for them, their family, income, ect.)
4. Then the father would cheat, not be supportive of the family, or some other factor, and they would get divorced.
I can't help but wonder why this happened four times while I was in high school? Yes, I know this does not represent every high school ever, but it makes me wonder if there are other high schools that have this same factor at an even higher rate?
I think it may be a lack of maturity. We are still babies ourselves, developing and becoming adults, so it is hard to become a mom while yours is still raising you. Then the father already had the mind set that he can do what he wanted. He isn't connected to that baby so he could leave at will. Even if it was through divorce papers. I do not, nor will I ever hate teenage moms. Again, I don't support the lifestyle (but that is for another time, another post.) I have a best friend who is a teen mom and she is one of the most amazing people I know. She works very hard and shows a lot of love for her daughter and I am so proud of her for getting her life back on track. But it hasn't been easy.
-Would it have been easy if these moms were older when they got pregnant? Maybe. But they could still be in school (college) getting an education and still struggling financially and with time.
-What if they waited until after they were married to have children? Would that have made the father stay around longer? Maybe. By getting married you already put yourself in a more hardcore agreement to be committed to that member of the family, but divorce has been a lot easier to get since a law was passed in the 1980's that allowed citizens to get divorced without a reason. So it's almost like marriage contradicts itself. In a way that this could almost lead to why there are so many people having children and living with a significant other without getting married. Now it is only a piece of paper. Some people find it holds their entire life in that paper, some people find it more of a short term agreement.
I believe I should wait until after marriage to have children. Because I want at least some commitment out of the person I am marrying. The LDS church believes that you will be sealed to the person you marry for time and eternity. Therefore, making it harder to get divorced because you have to be unsealed from that spouse too. Marriage is binding for my church... but a good binding, but that is why I am waiting. Strictly on religious beliefs.
Also, I don't want to have sex with several people to avoid the risk of getting STD's or having a child before I am ready and having that risk of having to do it on my own. Which is why I respect single parents so much. They go through a lot and are still raising children.
So here are my questions to you, my fellow readers:
Based on these societal trends, which one do you think is impacting our economy the most? Or is there another trend that you find a lot more detrimental to society?
Based on the trends I have given do you find them significant, interesting, or incidental (no big deal)?
Do you think certain trends are based off of each other and lead to one another just as I mentioned in the example above?
Why do you think these trends are expanding or declining so rapidly?
Do you think the trends expand rapidly because they are trends? Because everyone is doing them or because that is what they want to do and that is their personality?
Again, thank you so much for reading and your opinions from the last blog. Please be respectful of my opinions and others when you comment on this one or else I will be deleting your comments. All comments are welcome as long as you agree or disagree respectfully. Thank you!
Friday, September 20, 2013
"Coming Out"
Today in class we started to talk about one of the touchiest subjects in America, maybe even the world right now. Gay marriage. Before I start to go off on what I learned, I would just like to make a quick notice that this is a very hard subject to talk about. All opinions are my own and I would hope you would respect that. Feel free to comment below, but if you do please be respectful of mine and others opinions and be mature about what you say. Thank you.
So, we talked about a survey the APA did when they were trying to pass gay marriage in the state of California. Propositions 22 and 8 were trying to keep marriage civilly between a man and a woman.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has expressed clearly in The Family: A Proclamtion that marriage should only be between a man and a woman and they are to multiply and replenish the Earth so that we may continue this stream of children for generations to come.
I strongly agree with this. I am not afraid to say that I am opposed to gay marriage. I know people who have "came out" and are building relationships with people of the same gender. Now, don't get me wrong, I still love them the same way. They are still my friends and that will never change, but I don't agree with gay marriage or even gay relationships. I don't support it and I would never choose that lifestyle for myself. Like I said, that doesn't mean I hate gays... that's like saying I hate someone because they are deaf, their leg is broken, or they have the highest grade in my class. Gays are still people and it's just one of their traits and I would never look at them any differently than I did before they "came out."
Why am I so opposed to gay marriage/relationships? I know people have strong tendencies and desires for the same gender because they feel more compatible or that "the other gender would never like me so I need someone else" or who knows what other reasons. Men and woman are bred to create children and to build a strong home where a male has qualities and a woman and they work together to become as one whole family unit. "Coming out" is starting to become a trend and feels more like something people do to just be cool and not because of a struggle they are having. If society starts to see that it is a trend, more and more people are going to start to think that "coming out" is what everyone needs to do. That everyone secretly has passion for someone of the same gender which is no way true, but society is going to try to aim it that way. And then what? What happens several decades down the road when every single person is in a relationship with someone of the same gender? How will kids be developed? Yeah, they can "just adopt", but breeding has to be done to or else our society will diminish.
Yes, I know that might seem like a super crazy resolution to draw to, but is it really that crazy? Think about when people started "coming out" years ago... it was such a small thing, and now it's all over. Media, elementary schools, even in a walk in the park you may see a homosexual relationship.
What do you think? Where do you draw the line on homosexual standards in society? Is it ok that it is being taught in schools to children as young as 5 years old, on Disney Channel, and in the government system?
Here are a couple other articles to read and you can make up your minds for yourselves:
http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html
http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation
http://www.mormonsandgays.org/
So, we talked about a survey the APA did when they were trying to pass gay marriage in the state of California. Propositions 22 and 8 were trying to keep marriage civilly between a man and a woman.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has expressed clearly in The Family: A Proclamtion that marriage should only be between a man and a woman and they are to multiply and replenish the Earth so that we may continue this stream of children for generations to come.
I strongly agree with this. I am not afraid to say that I am opposed to gay marriage. I know people who have "came out" and are building relationships with people of the same gender. Now, don't get me wrong, I still love them the same way. They are still my friends and that will never change, but I don't agree with gay marriage or even gay relationships. I don't support it and I would never choose that lifestyle for myself. Like I said, that doesn't mean I hate gays... that's like saying I hate someone because they are deaf, their leg is broken, or they have the highest grade in my class. Gays are still people and it's just one of their traits and I would never look at them any differently than I did before they "came out."
Why am I so opposed to gay marriage/relationships? I know people have strong tendencies and desires for the same gender because they feel more compatible or that "the other gender would never like me so I need someone else" or who knows what other reasons. Men and woman are bred to create children and to build a strong home where a male has qualities and a woman and they work together to become as one whole family unit. "Coming out" is starting to become a trend and feels more like something people do to just be cool and not because of a struggle they are having. If society starts to see that it is a trend, more and more people are going to start to think that "coming out" is what everyone needs to do. That everyone secretly has passion for someone of the same gender which is no way true, but society is going to try to aim it that way. And then what? What happens several decades down the road when every single person is in a relationship with someone of the same gender? How will kids be developed? Yeah, they can "just adopt", but breeding has to be done to or else our society will diminish.
Yes, I know that might seem like a super crazy resolution to draw to, but is it really that crazy? Think about when people started "coming out" years ago... it was such a small thing, and now it's all over. Media, elementary schools, even in a walk in the park you may see a homosexual relationship.
What do you think? Where do you draw the line on homosexual standards in society? Is it ok that it is being taught in schools to children as young as 5 years old, on Disney Channel, and in the government system?
Here are a couple other articles to read and you can make up your minds for yourselves:
http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html
http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation
http://www.mormonsandgays.org/
Monday, September 16, 2013
Hello!
My name is Raini Stock and I am starting a blog for one of my college classes. The class is called Family Relations and is supposed to help me build a stronger understanding of the ups and downs through the regular (or not so regular) family lifestyle. As I learn my tips and tricks through this course, I will be sharing some of my own thoughts and helpful knowlegable insights I have gained from this class. I hope that you, my readers, may find this blog both entertaining and informative.
Comments are being monitored, but I do appreciate all feedback. I would like to know what you like, dislike, want improved, ect. on this blog, so I can improve my understanding of other family backgrounds and make this blog something great for a community to read.
Thank you and have a wonderful day!
Raini
Comments are being monitored, but I do appreciate all feedback. I would like to know what you like, dislike, want improved, ect. on this blog, so I can improve my understanding of other family backgrounds and make this blog something great for a community to read.
Thank you and have a wonderful day!
Raini
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