I decided to make a new post today and I would first off like to make my regards to my last post about gay marriage: I am absolutely thrilled with the outcome of responses that came with the post. A lot of you made very reasonable arguments about why or why not you think gay marriage should be legalized. Unfortunately, there was a couple of comments I did have to remove from this post. Please remember: I welcome opinions, but not if they are rude or disrespectful to mine or others thoughts. Save that for Facebook drama, please.
Today in class we learned about common trends in society. The ones we hit on most were:
-Divorce growth
-Marriage age growth
-Employed moms growth
-Both parents working growth
-Living alone growth
-Birth rates declining
-Household members declining (which bounces off of the living alone factor)
-Pre-marital sex growth
And then we took a poll in class on each issue whether it was Significant, Interesting, or Incidental (no big deal). Surprisingly, a lot of people in class voted the same for the majority of the trends.
My opinion: I can't help but wonder if one of these trends is based off of another. For example, in my high school I saw about four different people, all in the same situation. (Of course, there were factors that made these situations semi different, because everyone lives different lives, but for the sake of trends, they followed the same pattern):
1. They would have pre-marital sex
2. The girls ended up being pregnant at a young age. (This we did not discuss in class but I am seeing teenage pregnancy becoming a trend)
3. They would get married in hopes of something the father could provide. (Whether it was love for them, their family, income, ect.)
4. Then the father would cheat, not be supportive of the family, or some other factor, and they would get divorced.
I can't help but wonder why this happened four times while I was in high school? Yes, I know this does not represent every high school ever, but it makes me wonder if there are other high schools that have this same factor at an even higher rate?
I think it may be a lack of maturity. We are still babies ourselves, developing and becoming adults, so it is hard to become a mom while yours is still raising you. Then the father already had the mind set that he can do what he wanted. He isn't connected to that baby so he could leave at will. Even if it was through divorce papers. I do not, nor will I ever hate teenage moms. Again, I don't support the lifestyle (but that is for another time, another post.) I have a best friend who is a teen mom and she is one of the most amazing people I know. She works very hard and shows a lot of love for her daughter and I am so proud of her for getting her life back on track. But it hasn't been easy.
-Would it have been easy if these moms were older when they got pregnant? Maybe. But they could still be in school (college) getting an education and still struggling financially and with time.
-What if they waited until after they were married to have children? Would that have made the father stay around longer? Maybe. By getting married you already put yourself in a more hardcore agreement to be committed to that member of the family, but divorce has been a lot easier to get since a law was passed in the 1980's that allowed citizens to get divorced without a reason. So it's almost like marriage contradicts itself. In a way that this could almost lead to why there are so many people having children and living with a significant other without getting married. Now it is only a piece of paper. Some people find it holds their entire life in that paper, some people find it more of a short term agreement.
I believe I should wait until after marriage to have children. Because I want at least some commitment out of the person I am marrying. The LDS church believes that you will be sealed to the person you marry for time and eternity. Therefore, making it harder to get divorced because you have to be unsealed from that spouse too. Marriage is binding for my church... but a good binding, but that is why I am waiting. Strictly on religious beliefs.
Also, I don't want to have sex with several people to avoid the risk of getting STD's or having a child before I am ready and having that risk of having to do it on my own. Which is why I respect single parents so much. They go through a lot and are still raising children.
So here are my questions to you, my fellow readers:
Based on these societal trends, which one do you think is impacting our economy the most? Or is there another trend that you find a lot more detrimental to society?
Based on the trends I have given do you find them significant, interesting, or incidental (no big deal)?
Do you think certain trends are based off of each other and lead to one another just as I mentioned in the example above?
Why do you think these trends are expanding or declining so rapidly?
Do you think the trends expand rapidly because they are trends? Because everyone is doing them or because that is what they want to do and that is their personality?
Again, thank you so much for reading and your opinions from the last blog. Please be respectful of my opinions and others when you comment on this one or else I will be deleting your comments. All comments are welcome as long as you agree or disagree respectfully. Thank you!
Raini I agree with what you are saying With the whole teen parent situation. They are just kids themselves. And they believe its going to be all cool having a baby, with all the cute clothes and all the ohhhh and ahhhsss. When in fact you have spit up, poopy dipers, no sleep, crying and ect.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I don't agree with when it comes to teenage pregnancy's is when the mother has to get government help WIC, Food Stamps, and Medicaid. If they can't even provide for their child on their own they shouldn't be having a kid. Yes, mistakes happen but there's ALWAYS adoption, where a steady family can care and provide for that child without government help.
I myself am sexually active with my fiancée and have been since we started to date. But we are careful, maybe not as careful as we should be (i'm not on birth control and don't plan to start anytime soon) but we are very careful and if something were to happen, us getting pregnant we have a stable home and stable jobs. He in fact provide for me and children on his own, without government help. So if something were to happen we would both be fine financially.
And lets not forget its ALOT of money$$$$$$ that comes into taking care of a child..
-Mikayla
I think that all these trends are tied up in each other, but the diminishing popularity of marriage is the one that is most detrimental to all the others. By diminishing the importance of marriage (as well as the things that belong in a marriage, like sharing physical intimacy and having children), we see a rise in the dissolving of marriages (because the sanctity and importance of marriage have been downgraded so terribly that ending a marriage feels like a smaller deal), a rise in premarital sex (because if marriage isn't sacred, then why should we worry about keeping things generally associated with it--sex-- sacred, too), and a rise in the number of pregnant teens (because these girls and boys are not old enough to understand the consequences of casual sex, or even just sex at all before they engage in it).
ReplyDeleteI also don't know that persons who aren't married are really able to emotionally handle sex. It's not just a physical thing (see Elder Holland's talk "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments"), and it has been scientifically proven that it creates a strong chemical bond in the brains of the two participants. Why should we be treating something that powerful so casually? And giving it to, essentially, children, to play around with? Marriage and all the things that go with it are a natural part of eternal progression, and should be entered into with an extremely cautious and careful spirit. Anything less than that creates difficult situations and broken hearts.
And I know I'm not an expert on this, but being on the other side of things really adds a different perspective on these things for me. I think that you are very clear and firm about what you believe and that's really good, you bring up some great points (I would never have thought to connect the law passed in the 80's with the decline of marriage!), and you're just so darn cute!
Ok it erased my comment before so i will post a summary. The majority of people i know that get pregnant before marriage aren't planning on it, they even refer to their baby as an "accident" Even though i don't personally believe pre-marital sex is a bad thing, i do believe that all babies are blessings, and should be raised and treated like the blessing they are. All i can think is, an accident huh? I feel bad for your baby. I know most teen moms, especially since most are not expecting to expect, cannot raise a baby the way an older woman or even a married couple can. Most drop out of high school, and can't even find a part time job. Even if they do have a part time job, where does the child go while the mom is at work? You can't raise a baby alone, but if you got yourself into the situation before you had someone to help you raise a baby, i don't think it is fair to rely on people who have nothing to do with your actions to dig you out. Most of the relationships with the father don't last. I even know girls who have no idea who the father of their baby is. I think that is pretty sad. What do you do when they grow up, how do you tell your child you have no idea who their daddy is? I have great respect for people who are abstinent until marriage, because that is really one of the best ways to take care of this situation where children are born into broken families and are never raised like a true blessing. Even though i myself am not sexually abstinent, and am not married either, i think if you are going to have pre-marital sex, you better know what could happen and realize it happens more than anyone thinks. Be prepared if you are going to do anything like that before marriage, and if you're not prepared/protected, then DON'T do anything. I think if more people realized, this would happen a lot less.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest problem I see in society is the breakdown of the family unit. It is no longer a popular thing to date, get married, have a family and live to be a ripe old age with someone. Instead there is homosexuality, casual sex, teenage girls getting pregnant, living together to "test drive" the relationship and so many other things that are against our Heavenly Father's plan for us. Unfortunately, it is not going to get any better. Society has become tolerant to these cultures and even celebrates them. The people who cherish the sacredness of the family are quickly becoming a minority and are ridiculed because of it. Our society no longer has a Christian foundation, but has a secular foundation. That is the problem I see.
ReplyDeleteAs for the teenage pregnancy issue, if you are still a child...act like one! Stop rushing into situations you can't handle. If you have a baby, give it up for adoption to loving families who want nothing more than a precious child and can't have one. Give the child a chance!