Friday, November 8, 2013

Being Loyal to Your Spouse

This post may feel repetitive, because this week is a lot like my post last week.
My opinion: Some of these factors I found very interesting and some felt like, "Well, duh. Of course we are supposed to do that." But these are some things to avoid, so that you may remain loyal to your spouse, that we listed in class:
  1. Putting other things before them such as money, video games or any other worldly things (also, not putting your children before your spouse-- I named this last time but it is so incredibly true. If the children see that love between you two they will be less likely to act out and will do better in things such as getting along with friends and school. When they come first, it will make the husband feel lesser of a person and will result in a broken home, thus, a broken family)
  2. Sexting
  3. Keeping money spending a secret (a good way to avoid this, is put all money costs together once a week and decide what you will be spending it on-- putting most important things first such as bills, grocery budget and savings and last as fun money)
  4. Making sure that when you hang out or have a work dinner or something with friends there are multiple friends with you (we stressed this extremely, because even doing something as simple as making sure your spouse is not alone with someone of the opposite gender [or same!!] but instead is with you and multiple friends, this can decrease the chance for arousal significantly)
  5. Being with a close friend or family member alone also allows an increased chance for you or your significant other to "bash" or talk down on your spouse (you may say "I would never do that" but if they have been making you stressed that day, it could be very easy to want to "bash" them while they are not around)
  6. Impure thoughts of someone other than your spouse
  7. Dishonesty
  8. Confiding in anyone other than your spouse (much like #5)
  9. Pornography
  10. Alcohol
  11. Drugs
  12. Massage parlors (this may sound weird, but going on your own to these can cause the chance for arousal)
  13. Don't even get close to the line of cheating. Do everything to avoid this line. Every act of intimacy with someone other than your spouse (little or big!!) just makes it easier and easier to lead to the next act
  14. For females especially, avoid chick flicks and romance novels!!! (This is very hard for me to point out, considering I love chick flicks and romance novels, but that is the very problem. Females attach emotionally and one of the biggest sources of not being loyal to your spouse is to be aroused by fantasy's. Falling in love with characters who are unrealistic and then expecting your spouse to be the same. You may not realize it, but this happens more often than you think. No one is perfect and these sort of objects have no place in the home if the wife starts "expecting" the husband to become like these fictional characters. In a very blunt way: chick flicks and romance novels are what we in class call "woman porn".)
  15. Violence (which comes the root of "violation" or to "violate ones space")
  16. IF there has been cheating or infidelity in the relationship, when trying to fix it, do not give details of how the other lover showed affection. It will just bring the relationship down-- instead focus on ways of how you can both prove your love and show you are now loyal to each other forever and always)
Marriage is important and marriage is worth it. Don't trap yourself into cheating. By trapping yourself, it will start out with small things, but will eventually grow bigger. Draw a clear line of how far you will go with someone other than your spouse and don't even go near that line. It will create happiness and bonds between your spouse that some people would never have even imagined possible.

Questions:
1. How much physical intimacy (hand holding, kissing, ect.) do you feel is important in marriage?
2. Do you believe that showing these signs of affection are important to do in front of your children? Why or why not?
3. What other ways do you believe help you to remain loyal to your spouse?

I appreciate all feedback but please comment in the respect of mine and others opinions. All comments are being monitored and any that do not remain respectful will be deleted.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! You guys are wonderful!

2 comments:

  1. Good post! At the beginning of your post you said "of course we are supposed to do that." I would be careful of this mentality as many very good people succumb to temptation as they have not adequately thought about how they will respond to temptation. You mentioned many different forms of infidelity, in your opinion, what is the most common way people are unfaithful to their spouse? I'm glad that you discussed the importance of setting boundaries as a way to avoid infidelity. Elder James A. Paramore has said,"God, through His Son Jesus Christ, has established boundaries. These are the commandments that He gives to us to help us make the journey safely.... These boundaries protect us. They are essential to a safe journey." Just as obedience to commandments will lead us safely back to His presence, observing boundaries in marriages will give us strength and will deepen love between husbands and wives.

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  2. Physical touch in front of the children is very important. It is important for them to know that mom and dad love each other, it provides a visual of a united front and let's the child know they will not break that bond. It also sets the stage for that child when it comes time for a relationship of their own. What a child sees a child does. When Richard G. Scott came to our stake conference and spoke he said one time he was staying with a stake president and was heading out to a meeting. They got out to the car and the wife started to get in the back seat. Elder Scott told her he would never come between a husband and wife and insisted the wife sit in the front side by side with her husband. He stated small acts like that is what shows the ultimate love and affection for your spouse. Every since then I observe families in church. I look to see if the spouses are sitting together or are separated by their children. It is amazing to see the difference in those small acts.

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